“What are you doing for New Years?”
“Oh I’m going to Falls.”
“The BTV lineup is way better mate!”
“No, Falls Creek,” I said.
So as my friends prepared for an almighty showdown with the wily veteran gatekeepers at Lardner Park’s ‘Beyond the Valley’ festival, I was preparing for my own matchup.
Not against fellow man, but instead mountain.
As they pulled apart their cars and resealed water bottles in a bid to avoid paying $12 per beer, I was playing Tetris with my Nikes in my suitcase (and losing).
I was off to Falls Creek for the first time.
As we neared the destination and my trusty Mitsubishi Challenger sluggishly made its way up the 30km climb and the range dropped from 300km to 150km, it seemed like a fitting time to lecture the young bloods in the car on petrol prices.
“So how much does a tank cost?” they asked.
“About $200,” I joked with a smile in the rear vision mirror.
They didn’t laugh, but the sound of velcro wallets and coins was pretty innocent.
After a long day of average chat and hearing Dua Lipa’s new track seven too many times (the first five were pretty good), we’d made it to Falls Creek.
First impression? Shit, much hills.
The boys were roaring with confidence. I’m talking windows down, sunnies on, music blasting (pretty much the mainies scene from Angry Boys).
But it soon became clear we were about to be a part of something much bigger, and as far as the Falls Creek food chain goes – we were somewhere near the bottom.
Monday
Our newbie status was confirmed very early on in the piece when the simple instruction of “meet at the aqueduct at 5pm” may as well have been in Chinese.
Turns out asking where that is might’ve been a better option than the old play it cool like some sort of jock in a movie.
This would be my first lesson for any future Falls attendees.
Lesson 1 – The aqueduct could mean pretty much anywhere.
Falls Creek Fun Fact: By saying “meet at the aqueduct”, one narrows down potential meeting places to a mere 75% of Falls Creek.
So on the first day we got lost and ran on our own and I uploaded a photo on my Strava activity so no one looked at the map and realised I was a noob.
This brings me to my second lesson.
Lesson 2 – Know your place.
The aim is to fit in, not stand out.
Undoubtedly there is a buzz around the training sessions at Falls Creek, but this doesn’t give you superpowers. Find your crew for the easy runs and sessions and stick with them.
Day 2 loomed as some kind of brutal running gang initiation at Mt McKay.
Sprawled across my double bed I hit the hay and hoped to dear god my body was more efficient on the hills than my car.
Saturday
My first ever session at Falls Creek would consist of 5x800m hills.
The wry smile I got from a few seasoned campaigners when telling them this was most concerning but the warmup was underway and I was jogging with world class athletes that had previously only existed on Instagram or YouTube, so the hills were a worry for the future.
But the future soon arrived.
It was a case of follow the leader. No whistle or stopwatches, just the big dogs start running and everyone follows.
I’d found my group and as we rolled out the first rep it soon became clear that we should save the chat for the recovery on the way back down the hill.
After the second rep the chat had diminished, and by the third we were grunting at each other like cavemen.
There were cones placed at half way for those doing an altered session and by the fourth rep my suspicion that it takes 1 minute to get to half way and 3 days to get to the finish was growing stronger.
In my opinion the second last rep is always the hardest.
So after one more time up the mound I had survived Mt McKay, for now anyway.
It was an uncomfortable experience which was rivalled by the next step of my initiation, which I would soon refer to as the ‘cold as f@&k water’, as the boys lowered themselves into the numbing shallow water.
Turns out this thing is also called an aqueduct, but if someone says meet at the aqueduct don’t go to this one – no one meets there.
I was convinced I had completed the toughest session of the trip.
But the next day held no reprieve.
Sunday
You’d be hard pressed to find a runner that doesn’t do their long run on a Sunday morning, it’s like church for those who preach running.
‘Pretty Valley’ sounded like a beautiful long run.
How wrong I was.
As far as I’m concerned they should rename it ‘Death Valley’ and plaster the fields with the tombstones of the runners it has consumed.
If you’ve ever accidentally got an express train and watched it sail away from where you should be, you’ll know how I felt on this run.
I was stuck with a bunch of boys who were expediting the deterioration process by dropping some sub-4 minute kilometres.
After 8km I found my way to the front and pulled the handbrake (if trains have those), but everyone was jumping off anyway.
Lesson number 3 – Don’t get stuck on your own.
Death Valley is a scary place, but on your lonesome it is a dangerous one.
Always take a friend!
The run would finish at some joint called Langford’s, another one you might want to put in your Falls Creek handbook.
Monday
Experiencing Mt McKay and Death Valley in my first two proper days at Falls I’d assume is what Nathan Lyon felt like batting against Dale Steyn from one end and Morne Morkel from the other.
So the easy run on Monday was the equivalent of a part time off-spinner sending down some pies.
Some core and hurdles in the evening would top off a refreshing day, made more refreshing by the fact that I skipped the hurdles.
Tuesday
If New Year’s Eve wasn’t already the biggest day on the Falls calendar, it was certainly made so by coinciding with the infamous 1km reps.
I was nervous, but I’ll admit I was pretty excited.
You have an idea in your head of what it’s going to be like – single file and fast. But you can’t really harness the energy without being there.
During the warmup I noticed lots of photographers, so I did the obligatory two reps in the singlet before taking it off (Insta game strong).
As the groups were called in 5 second increments starting at 2:45/km I got a reality check as I was shuffled back a long way.
I was knocking over the reps in times I was happy with considering the varying factors (about 3:15’s on average), but ahead of me were a lot of people.
Lesson 4 – Compare yourself to yourself.
By no means am I a guru, but I saw Falls as an opportunity to better myself as a runner and experience an elite training environment.
I’d say most runners have that competitive urge – the fire in the belly to beat whoever they are racing or training with.
The thing about Falls is it’s just not going to happen, and that shouldn’t be disheartening.
A good session for you depends on where you’re at, so be pushed by those around you and help each other, but when it’s all said and done you are the judge.
With the 1km’s in the bank it was almost time for the New Year’s Eve celebrations.
So what do a bunch of athletes on a mountain do on such an occasion?
Drink cups of tea and tell running stories, obviously!
I bumped into two-time world champion Jaryd Clifford (he must’ve been on his seventh cup of tea at that stage) and we half joked about starting a website.
Hopefully it was Jaryd talking, not the cups of tea.
All the athletes were tucked into bed by 10pm…
Wednesday
Too much tea meant a lot of athletes didn’t run on Wednesday, but I mustered 40 minutes (one of those blokes).
A phone call from dad regarding the fires was hosed down by my reassurance that “it’s all good, we can’t even smell it”, as I watched on from inside and the gloomy skies loomed ominously out the window.
Mum was less easily convinced.
Some incredible scenes even saw the Australian Fires and VicEmergency apps rival Strava as the most used app on the mountain.
As the evening approached the phones started to ring and plans started to change.
But rest assured, in the morning it would be business as usual.
Having a session on the next day really assisted in justifying eating subpar pasta for the sixth night in a row. You know when everyone is eating and someone goes with the old “at least we’ll be fueled up for tomorrow,” which apparently makes up for the fact you’ve been eating canned spaghetti.
Thursday
6 minute threshold, 3x300m hills, 6 minute threshold, 6x200m hills, 6 minute threshold.
Thursday morning swung by and almost insultingly the session was overshadowed by talk of the return to the hallowed Mt McKay on Saturday.
The workout was gruelling as the hills were taxing and you paid for them on the threshold before returning to get taxed a little bit more, in typical Australian fashion.
The end of the workout saw all eyes turn to Mt McKay for the second match of the two match series against the 800m beast.
But this talk would not be prolonged.
After crawling back to the accommodation and a trip to Nature’s ice bath, “see you guys later on” soon became “thanks for the trip.”
The fires posed a serious threat and the numbers on the mountain quickly dwindled as athletes packed their bags and evacuated.
As I hit the road the disappointment of a training camp cut short kicked in initially, but the reality of the Australian bushfire crisis lingered.
I’d never been to Falls Creek before but in just one week I could see how special it is to the running community and its value. It’s a place Australian distance runners have shared for years on end as competitors and teammates of all levels have worked together towards raising the bar of Australian running.
The running community thrives on support and working towards common goals and David McNeill’s ‘#kms4bushfires’ initiative displayed the comradery of runners as they pledged to donate money per kilometre run in a given week, and in the words of McNeill himself, it has “brought out the best of what running culture is: empathy, humility and community.”
Hopefully this is not a passing trend and Australians continue to support those impacted for a long time to come.
Cheers to everyone who I met at Falls for a good trip, and to those who gave me a tow unknowingly. I’ll be back next year no doubt!
The running community is very special.
Lachie Moorhouse
Words by House 